Please note. . .

Don't Be Silent DC has been inactive since March 2008 and has not been accepting entries since. If you are in the DC area and have a harassment story to share, please go to HollaBack DC. If you are outside the DC area and want to submit your story, go to Stop Street Harassment. Thank you.


As of 3/1/08, I will no longer be working on this blog. Please read this post for more details.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Do You Change Habits to Prevent Clowns From Harassing You?

After reading BeautyInBaltimore's post that I linked here (see previous blog post), it saddens me that the men are so bad that she has to wear a fake wedding ring to get them to leave her alone, but that it has no effect on them whatsoever.

I thought about the things I've done to get men to leave me alone. I cannot remember the last time I've worn a short skirt or shorts...maybe five years ago. I tend to wear pants---palazzos, capris, gauchos---and when I wear a skirt it's knee-length or longer.

I went out a few weekends ago to an 80s night. I wore a strappy yellow tunic with leggings and a gold sash. I was worried that I was going to get unwanted attention on my way there from men on the streets, so in hot weather (I believe it was in the 90s then), I wore a jacket. I was burning up hot but desperate to not get unwanted attention from these men. That did me no good...men were still honking their horns at me on my walk to the train station. Only when I met up with my friend and got to the venue did I have the courage to take my jacket off.

There's also the tactic of lying about having a boyfriend or other significant other, but that will not deter these men. They'll still push and persist, because they have no tact and could care less about you. If they react with a comment such as, "that's cool...what's your man gotta do with me?" or something like that, then it shows the lack of respect they have for you as a woman...as an invididual. And if you answer "Gotta man?" with "No...but I'm not interested" and they still push you, they've got problems. Men, just because a woman is single it doesn't mean she'll jump right in your arms...especially if "Gotta man?" is your approach. You need to have common interests, have attraction to one another, and be interested in dating for it to work.

Bold as I thought I was, there were times when I've had to reroute my way home because I got tired of the harassment on my way home. The detour was lengthy, on a hilly street, and a pain in my behind.

Looking back, I shouldn't have to be the one to change what I do to get through my day. These clowns on the street should! It doesn't matter if I'm dressed for a night out or wearing sweats, these men will act like fools regardless.

So readers, don't try to change what you do or who you are to placate these men. Nothing you can do will cause them to change their pitiful ways, because it's not about you, it's about THEM. All you can do is continue to carry yourself with class and stand up for yourself if you become the next target of some harassing idiot.

1 comment:

CHIC NOIR said...

The fakeout ring is toooo popular. Have you noticed how many female commenters said that they wear one also.
I hate the fact that we have to change routes etc.. to avoid the unwanted attention of losers. This is truly a mans world and sometimes I think that the women in this country are treated only slightly better than those in some middle eastern countries.

I should be able to wear whatever I want to, my money paid for it. Futhermore, I've noticed that when two women are walking down the street, one being dressed scantly clad. Guess who the idiots start to scream at,the woman who has all of her clothes on.