Please note. . .

Don't Be Silent DC has been inactive since March 2008 and has not been accepting entries since. If you are in the DC area and have a harassment story to share, please go to HollaBack DC. If you are outside the DC area and want to submit your story, go to Stop Street Harassment. Thank you.

As of 3/1/08, I will no longer be working on this blog. Please read this post for more details.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Nubian Nuisance

No, it's not horribly harassing, and it's not as bad as being called "bitch" or followed home, but it's annoying as hell.

On my walk to the train station, a man politely smiled and said "Good morning." Very simple, no frills attached, a friendly salutation. I replied in kind.

When descending the steps to the train station, a guy clad in Afrocentric gear walking up the steps said, "Good morning, my beautiful Nubian sistah." I'm not one of those Black people who's a fan of the oversaturated "Nubian Sistah Queen Girlfriend" crap. I think it's pretentious, phony, showy, and not genuine at all. Cloying and annoying is what I find it.

"Good morning, guy I don't want to deal with," I responded. Too early in the morning.
"What---?!" he said, offended. "All I said was 'good morning.'"
"No you didn't just say 'good morning,'" I said.

The guy starts ranting like a lunatic how I need to "cut that shit off yo' head!" That was his way of implying that I wasn't "Black enough" for him and not worthy of having dreads.

I started arguing with him, but realized how ridiculous he sounded and said, "Man, you sound like a lunatic...have a nice day!" He was still screaming even when I was in the station.

I know I'm going to get a lot of negative responses to this, but I don't care. Yes, I love compliments and appreciate them. But I appreciate compliments that come from a true and genuine place, not some hackneyed crap that I'm sure would be spewed at the next girl to walk by.

Also, a person's reaction to rejection tells you if that's a person who was worth dealing with anyway. I've had experiences where I'd try to get to know a person and start a conversation and they'd blow me off. No skin off my hide. These men instead of taking rejection in stride start ranting and raving like idiots...that's someone you don't want to be bothered with.

So get to me at the comments...let me know how so "wrong" you all think I am. Not all women think alike and react alike. To some, being called "Nubian Sistah Queen" is flattering, but to me it's eyeroll-inducing.

1 comment:

jennifer said...

Hi...I've posted before and I applaud your taking over Hollaback DC.

I don't think what you're doing is wrong, but I think it's best to keep the response short, loud and simple (i.e.:" I AM NOT YOUR SISTER" [or other phony endearment]; "STOP HARASSING WOMEN"--when one gets a comment about one's looks or hears what "should" be done to one's body; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!" if blocked ) when something like this happens. If you're able to walk away, do. Repeat if necessary. Most of the time I've heard some mumbling, but no other catcalls.

Long before Hollaback, Rebecca Walker described a harassment experience in Ms.