Please note. . .

Don't Be Silent DC has been inactive since March 2008 and has not been accepting entries since. If you are in the DC area and have a harassment story to share, please go to HollaBack DC. If you are outside the DC area and want to submit your story, go to Stop Street Harassment. Thank you.

As of 3/1/08, I will no longer be working on this blog. Please read this post for more details.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Response to "Intraracial Tension"

O sent me this well-written response to "Intraracial Tension":

I'm a little late on the scene. Just read your intra-racial tension post. I have been through the same situation in the past, and I have regretted my reactions in the past. As a black woman I definitely understand how ignorant black people really wear on your nerves the most.

I'm fairly new to this city and have noticed that the DC harassers are slightly more aggressive than where I am from. However, when dealing with harassing black men, one thing has worked consistently well for me. It is especially effective if your harasser(s) ask a question - any question… Can I talk to you for a minute shortay? Can I walk with you baby? Even most statements (hey, slow down pretty lady, lemme talk to you for a second) can be answered in a way that stops the harassers cold.

If I am walking upon them, I always look them squarely in the eye, if but a swift moment, and reply with a firm "No Sir!" If I’ve already passed them, then I don’t turn around, but I make sure they can hear me as I continue walking: “NO SIR!” Don’t ask me how I figured this out – probably being sarcastic one day. But if anything can throw these fools off guard, it’s giving them “respect” in the face of their own ignorance. It has the effect of a low voltage stun gun. I call it the “verbal broken windows” theory. After saying this, I've never received a "stuck up *itch" or anything else out of they way. In fact, I can’t say that I’ve never heard any response from a harasser simplex-1. They are rendered speechless and confused enough for me to put a good distance between them and myself. Sort of works as a very quick way to let these people know WHO you are (as the guy blogger who's lived in Egypt before suggested): One to tolerate absolutely no crap from them.

The point is to never, ever stoop to the harassers' level. Don't let them bring you down, even one notch. Calling them a name (even "ignorant") would be doing so, and thus, quite ineffective. And certainly don't ever let them know what you're thinking (even if it’s a plea for them to go find some constructive reading material lol) as these aggressors only use that to try and find another inch.

Note: this does not work as well for the harasser simplex-2.B – the (drunk) bum-wanting-money. It is best to say nothing at all and refuse eye contact with them.

My two cents.

Happy New Year

Thank you, O. I am trying my hardest to come up with new methods to handle harassers. And I tell you, I'm sick of having struggles with people of my own race. We should be able to get along.

No comments: