Fourth of July Fools

Unfortunately for me my wish to not be bothered by assholes on the streets did not come true. Today brought out the foolishness in these loser men!

Mixed Messages

I left my house to do some Fourth of July thrift shopping. My first stop was at the Georgia Avenue Thrift Store. I found a few things there and continued on. I caught the 70 towards Silver Spring, and sat behind this man who was trying to talk to some husky, boyish-looking woman.

"What yo' type?" he asks her.
"My type?" she asks, in disbelief. I think she said "I got a female back home" or something like that.
They said some things I couldn't hear, then the guy put his hand on her. She smacks it off.
"Don't touch me," she says.
He touches her again. She hook punches him in the arm.
"Why did you hit me?" he says. "I didn't hit you!"
"I told you not to fuckin' touch me," she says. "Touch me again and I'mma beat the shit outta you, n***a."

Now this is what got me. All of a sudden they're laughing with each other as if they're old friends. But seconds later, it's back to the "don't touch me" mess. Then more laughing.

The girl gets "tired" of it and tells the man to leave her alone. The man looks for someone else to mess with. Of course, he tried to make me the next target.

"Do you know where City Place is?" he asks me.
"No...I do not," I said, coldly. I immediately turned me head towards the window before he wanted to continue talking to me. Not in the mood.

The bus stops at the stop before the train station and both of them get off together. That was weird as hell. That mixed message crap is the reason why many of these loser men think it's okay to bother women the way they do. You either like that attention (lord knows why) or you don't. And if you don't like that attention, you better back that feeling up.

I then hop on the train to head to the Salvation Army in Wheaton, then proceed back home on the train.

"HUH?!?!?" Holla

Leaving the train station, some creepy man was hanging not too far from it.
"SUGA' WOMAN!" I hear. Crap, this creepy man is trying to talk to me.
"Suga' woman," he said, hovering too close. "Do you have any spare change?"
"'Suga' woman'?!" I said, in disbelief. "My name is not---"
"I said 'suga wooga,'" he corrects me. Even worse.
"My name is not 'suga' woman,' 'wooga,' or whatever other name you have for me," I said. "It's 'miss' or 'ma'am'!"
He walks away...creepy!

Kooky Cookout

I was craving Fourth of July food, like hot dogs and hamburgers. There is a restaurant near me that has that stuff, but unfortunately it was closed for the holiday. I opted to grab some stuff from the market instead---hot dogs, chips, ice cream, and Izze clementine soda.

I went from having a bag of thrift store stuff to having a couple more bags that weighed me down. Regardless, I'm not the type to play "damsel in distress" and ask for a man to help me carry my stuff home. And speaking of such, I heard some clown go "shawty...SHAW-TAY! Can I carry yo' groceries, shaw-tay?" A large group of people were hanging out having a cookout, complete with firecrackers being set off and loud music being blasted. The call was coming from there.

I was going to ignore it and go on. I just didn't have the energy in me to talk back. Whatever energy I had was needed to get those things home! And it was raining too---I had all these bags and the umbrella to hold!

As I waited for the light to change, I heard "can I chill wit' you under yo' umbrella?" and look to see some fool, the same one who was just trying to "holla" at me, stuck his ugly-ass head under my umbrella. This guy had a doo-rag on that barely covered his unkempt, linty hair (dude---use an Afro pick or get some corn rows done please!!!), gold teeth in his mouth, and baggy pants sagging off his behind. Ugh. I never felt so much rage in my life. I took my umbrella and struck him hard with it.

"Stay the hell away from me!" I yelled.
"Man!" he said. "What's wrong with you---you got problems or somethin'?"
You try fighting off the constant harassment of men who catcall, get too damn close, say ignorant shit and don't know when to leave enough alone---then ask me again if I've got "problems"!!!
"I am tired of this shit!" I yelled. "I'm not trying to deal with creepy men trying to talk to me. Leave me the hell alone!"
The dude tried to step too close again. I put my umbrella up as if it were a sword in en garde position.
"Back the fuck up off me!" I yelled again. The dude gives up and goes away. The light changes and I cross.

I'm a mess. One of my locs keeps getting stuck on an umbrella spoke. In my haste to get home, I dropped the bag with the Izze sodas and it shatters. The rain washes it down a sidewalk drain.

"Whatever!" I moaned. Because I'm not one to litter, I was going to come back to clean it up when I dropped the rest of my stuff off, hoping I could get my stuff home.

At home, my neighbors, some punk-style people, were out popping firecrackers and mess, with them perilously landing too close to my side. (These are the same people who woke me up on a Sunday morning because they were doing basement work, breaking bricks and yelling "whoo-hoo!" the whole time.)

I put my groceries up, grabbed some latex gloves and a bag, and headed out in the pouring rain to clean up the mess the dropped sodas made, as well as replace those sodas. The rain was falling down harder. I found the mess and luckily it only took two pick ups to get most of it in the trash. Most of the damage was still in its bag which made it easy to get rid of.

I did not want to have to walk past the cookout clown and his crew again, but that market is two blocks away from them and on the same side of the street. I was never one to change my route because of fools on the street, but I just didn't want to deal. I crossed the street and walked on the opposite side, then crossed back when I was across from the market. They were about to close, and I got my replacement sodas just in time.

Head About to Pop Off

I opted to take a side street instead so I could avoid that fool and his crew going home. That was no help either since some middle-aged man in a silver car honked his horn at me, then stopped. This fool thought I was going to take a ride from him!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I yelled. He didn't seem to get the hint, so I mouthed "no!" while shaking my head. He drove off.

Of course, instead of neighbors being concerned, I heard "Homegirl is crazy. That chick is fucking crazy."

Yeah, that's right...dealing with that shit on a regular basis will make you crazy. Happy Fourth, all---hopefully yours has been better than mine.

More street harassment write-ups

Solomon Sydelle did a write-up on street harassment on her blog. Jess at Unquiet Heart also wrote one about feminism. Both are worth looking into.

I'm going to go out and attempt to enjoy this holiday---and hope that there are no stupid fools to prevent me from doing so. I'll get to any submissions and moderated comments when I get back.

Stay safe and enjoy this (too short) holiday!

Too Close For Anyone's Comfort

J. from LeDroit Park sent me this story:

This is my first submission, but I'm not sure why. Since it got warm, I've had to alter my travel routes, severely limiting walking in my neighborhood at all costs. Four to five incidents of harassment minimum in my less than a mile walk from the Metro is enough to have me willingly add 30 minutes to my commute so I can take a bus.

Anyway, today's incident really showed me that I've really gotten to a boiling point with this stupid-ass harassment. I put off going to grab some lunch as long as I could (didn't have the mental energy to deal with harassers on 14th Street today), but eventually ran out of the office to walk the 2 blocks to McDonald's on U Street for a quick bite. I get there with no problems and think maybe this won't be so bad today. Of course, that jinxed it or something, because some fool in a bright tie-dyed shirt who was trying to move past me thought that instead of taking the obvious and open route I gave him to walk in front of me, he decided to squeeze between me and the table to my right, getting WAY up in my personal space and saying "how YOU doin' today" right in my ear. I told him to fuck off. He moved behind me and continued to stare at me in disbelief for a few moments. The guy in front of me in line noticed what was going on and turned around to talk to me. Even though this guy was obviously just trying to be nice and make me feel safe, I was so pissed off and freaked out that I was completely rude to him because it seems like any interaction I have with men I don't know seems to be negative lately. The first guy continued to move around the restaurant looking for women to harass and apparently didn't find anyone. I told the cashier what he was doing and she said she'd be on the lookout for him.

Of course, some guy decided to try to block my path while looking me up and down and licking his lips on the way back. I yelled at him that he needs to get the fuck over himself.

It makes me extremely angry that I now walk down the street suspicious and cautious of every single man I pass (yes, women do it to, but I don't often feel physically threatened by them). I don't want to go through life this hostile. I just spent the past two weekends in Brooklyn and was catcalled a total of 2 times, and both of the men apologized when I informed them that I didn't appreciate it. I don't know what the hell is the problem here. I'd love to call DC home for a long time, but this harassment really has me wanting to leave town in a hurry.

I wish the switch could be flipped: how would they feel if some random woman got too close, got too sexual, and tried this mess with them? These clowns need a taste of their own medicine. The problem is that most men are bigger than us women, so if a woman harassed them on the street, on average they wouldn't feel a physical intimdation. I'm sorry that J. has to alter her commute because idiots don't know when to keep their distance and leave well enough alone.

And I believe she was talking about the McDonald's on U & 14th. I've heard things about that one---that it should be avoided as much as possible, even in the daytime. When I lived in NW, I took a bus that passed by there and would see the creepiest people hanging out around there. U Street may be gentrified, and Columbia Heights on its way, but creepy fools will still be hanging out so be careful, alert, and stay safe!

Fed Ex Delivers...Hollas

Previous contributor CC has another harassment story to tell:

Twice in one week! Guess that's the hazard of being a female in the DC area...

Today I was walking from the metro in Alexandria and getting ready to cross Washington Street at Oronoco. I was the only pedestrian. As I was waiting for the light to change, I hear an annoying male voice call out, "Hey beautiful!"

I turn around and, to my shock and anger, it is a man driving a Fedex Ground truck in uniform! This asshole thinks it's 1. okay to harass women, and 2. okay to harass women WHILE HE'S WORKING.

I gave him the finger.

"Yeah, fuck you too," he shouted back.

The light changed and I got home. The second I did I called the Fedex customer service line and reported the incident. The woman I spoke to was very apologetic and took down all the details and sent a complaint to his manager.

Fucking assholes. They piss me off to no end.

-CC

Kudos to CC for taking action. When you are on the clock the only thing you're supposed to worry about is doing your job, not hitting on women. I cannot count the number of times men in uniform (USPS, UPS, Fed Ex, etc.) have tried to holla at me while on the job.

I think Fed Ex needs to get it together. I was walking down Connecticut towards Farragut North Station one time, and this greasy-looking Fed Ex guy said, "Hey, sexy." I responded back with, "'Hey, sexy?' You need to leave me alone and do your daggone job! If you ever want to speak to me or another woman again, you will say 'hello, miss' or 'ma'am'. Got it?!" I didn't see his nametag (do they use them?) nor did I see his truck.

On another day, I was walking where New Hampshire sort of becomes a fork in the road somewhere (I believe I was heading towards Dupont Circle Station), and a Fed Ex employee is in his truck sitting at the light.

"Hey, girl, let me take you out sometime," he said.
Ugggggggh! This fool was old enough to be my dad!
"Fool," I said. "You need to go about your business and leave me alone!"
"You know you want it...you know you want it!"
I tried to get closer so I could see the license plate, but the light changed and he drove off.

I was very angry that I couldn't take action, and heading towards the Metro I had seen at least two more Fed Ex trucks, wondering all the while if one of them was that punk.

Fed Ex, listen here. You need to really, really do a thorough interview to make sure you're not hiring harassers to represent you. The only thing we want from you is our packages to be delivered on time...not to have unwanted catcalls delivered our way!

Humorous "Holla"

I found this on the previous site I linked. It's a MAD TV sketch where a guy does not leave a chick alone at the movies. As horrendous as dealing with street harassment is in real life, laughing at how ridiculous these men come off is a stress reliever. Though it's comic form, I'm glad that even the entertainment world is realizing how much of a problem this is.

The only thing I didn't like is the black harasser/white victim set-up (because of the stereotypes of the aggressive black male and the damsel-in-distress white female), but in real life whatever race the harasser and harassee are shouldn't matter. It's a pain in the ass to the receivers of it!

And much to my surprise, the actor playing the harasser is a woman. (I honestly didn't know until reading the posted comments.)



Embedding is disabled for this video, so here is the link.

Catcalling is a Cross-Cultural Annoyance

Posted here. Interesting write-up about why street harassment is a pain in the ass.

Metro Stalker and Potential Rapist

This submission is from Courtney:

I was going to the Van Ness metro at 3:30 in the afternoon and I was going to take the elevator because I was carrying a lot of things. I only go in the elevator when the women out number the men (I know women can be harassers too, but not as much as men).

There were two women in the elevator, so I got in. Right as the doors were closing, these two guys ran in. I did not look at them until we were almost underground. When I did glance at one of them, he gave was just staring in this evil way and it scared me. When I was on the platform, I knew that he was following me so I kept walking to the end of the platform, just in case it was a coincidence. When I could go no further, I stopped. He stopped too, and picked up the phone that was about five feet from me. He talks on the phone, and he’s glaring at me the whole time as he talks on the phone and says: “Alright, I found some pussy.” Then he started
describing me to whoever was on the phone. I was so scared, I couldn’t move. He kept staring at me and said “Oh thank God I found some, ‘cause I just need to
fuck something!!” The train came and I ran down to another car, far away from him. He followed me. His friend was telling him to get in the car with him, but he pointed at me and said “No, I need to get in this one.” His friend got in the other car, but he still got in the same one as me. At the next stop, I got off and ran on the train that was going in the opposite direction. I was so scared, I thought he was going to rape me, but looking back on it, I’m just really mad that men can cause that kind of fear.

Thanks so much again! Its a great website.

When something like this happens, contact the authorities immediately! There are emergency phones lining the platform, as well as emergency buttons on the trains themselves. Draw attention to this man's behavior so he'd know he was in the wrong---and so others can see what's happening and step in to help as well. Don't ever let these idiots intimidate you in your public space!

Stay safe and be strong.